Slowly Fading Memories
by Olly Lupin-Black
Summary: Harry and draco run into each other awhile after they've broken up. They meet for lunch to remember the good times and the bad.


Slowly Fading Memories  
  
Pairing(s) - Harry/Draco  
  
Disclaimer - I am not J.K. Rowling and have no association with her except that I worship the parchment upon which she writes and the Eagle Feather Quill that spills forth her beautiful words. I get nothing for this except the joy of writing.  
  
Rating - PG-13  
  
Summary - It's been a while since Harry and Draco have seen each other after they broke up. They recall the good times and the bad.  
  
Notes - The title (and this line "I can't run to you no more to catch me when I'm falling. I know I have to let you go.") is from the song Girlfriend by Eve 6. They give me words when I have none. Also, "I'll die of you touch me." Is from Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. "My wasted heart will love you always" is from the movie love, Actually. And, "The Snitch That Harry Really wants to Catch" is by Aja.  
  
I'm having format issues so if it looks really weird I'm sorry. I'm working on it.  
  
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Slowly Fading Memories  
  
A tall wiry frame with shining emerald green eyes covered in glasses that were still a size to big for his thin face and a shock of messy raven black hair slowly approached the little café in London where he was supposed to have a lunch date. He new this café well, there were many memories there, all good ones, not a single bad memory among them. He was asked to be there at 1:30 and it was now 1:29 and for the millionth time he was asking himself what he was doing. Why exactly was going to go through with this lunch? It was done, over with, behind him. But if he was so over that time in his life then why did his heart ache and cry out when he saw the slightly to thin, to blonde, and to pale form of Draco Malfoy leaning ever so gently on the cold stone wall next to the entrance of their destination? He just had to keep telling himself that he was over it. Over Draco.  
  
"I didn't think you would come." Draco's cool gray eyes scanned Harry's face before quickly dropping to the tiny ants that were marching on the ground next to his feet.  
  
"Neither did I." Harry took in the hurt look upon Draco's face and even through it was only there for a whisper of a moment to Harry it seemed like an eternity.  
  
"Right. Shall we go in then or do you want to leave? Pretend that we never ran into each other and that you didn't say yes when I asked you to meet me here." Draco prayed to anyone that would listen that Harry wouldn't leave right then and there. His stomach sank when Harry went to move as if he were going to turn around leave going back the way he had just come from. Instead, he took hold of the door handle and ushered Draco in before himself.  
  
"Table for two?"  
  
"Yes, could we sit out on the patio please? It would be a sin to waste this beautiful day." With a tiny smile hidden from those around him, Harry thought to himself, "Ever a Malfoy Draco, ever a Malfoy." The hostess smiled and gathered two menus.  
  
"Yes of course, right this way please." She led the two boys through the tiny restaurant that lead to an even tinier patio out back. It was a beautiful summer day and the grotto reflected it perfectly. Roses as big as the palm of your hand and in every color imaginable lined the stonewalls spilling their intoxicating scent on any who dared to walk to close. Tiny bushes as green as Harry's eyes and so full of leaves that it was a miracle that they didn't fall over lined the bottoms of the walls. The sun so high above them poured liquid warmth down upon the diners in the tiny enclosure kissing their skin and lavishing the foliage with its heat. The patio held only one small table made out of white iron. The iron bars twisted to form little roses that paled in the shadow of the ones on the wall. The backs of the chairs came up to brace the back of the person sitting in it. They too were made up of iron roses.  
The hostess pulled out the two chairs and gestured to the dining companions to sit. "Your waitress will be right with you." She was quickly swallowed up by the flowers as she went back into the main restaurant leaving Harry and Draco alone.  
  
"Do you remember the first time we ca."  
  
"Our first date. You told me that you knew of a cute little café in London, a muggle café no less. You said that it would be private and that there would be no one there that we knew. And you said that what the food lacked the café itself made up for in atmosphere." Draco stared at Harry stunned.  
  
"You still finish my sentences."  
  
"Well, it's not like it wasn't an obvious question Draco."  
  
"Yeah, obvious. After all, it's not like there weren't a lot of firsts between us." This came out a little harsher than Draco had intended. He quickly looked down at his menu. Harry did the same. They didn't speak again until their waitress came.  
  
"Welcome! Welcome! How are you two this lovely day?" The young woman stood before them looking slightly ruffled. Her once stiffly starched shirt was wilting and her fine brown hair was curling around the nape of her neck. Her cheeks flushed from the hot kisses the sun lavished upon her. She was obviously in charge of the patio diners.  
  
"Lovely and how are you?" Once again with the Malfoy charm.  
  
"Honestly? I'm hot and sweaty. But anyway, may I start you two out with something to drink?"  
  
"Lemo." Harry and Draco began at the same time.  
  
"I'm sorry. Go ahead."  
  
"No, no. You go." Not wishing to get in a fight over who was going to order first Harry decided that he would take Draco's kindness and order first.  
  
"Two lemonades please." Draco raised his eyebrow at Harry's order.  
  
"Right, two lemonades. I'll be right back with those." That waitress sidled off into the cool of the main café to get their drinks.  
  
"Two?"  
  
"Yeah so?"  
  
"I just thought."  
  
"Well, that is what you were going to order so I thought why not just get it over and done with in one order. No big deal." Once again, they both looked down at their menus both pretending to be studying the contents of the folded pink parchment adorned with black calligraphy telling of the tantalizing appetizers and sumptuous entrees.  
  
"So, why did you decide to come today?"  
  
"To tell you the truth Draco I don't know." Harry ran his nimble fingers through his black hair. Draco studied them remembering all the times he had seen them firmly grasp around a fighting Snitch and all the times that they entwined with his own firmly yet gently as if he himself was a Snitch. He felt a shiver run down his spine. "When I saw you that day in Diagon Alley and you just looked.I don't know. I just couldn't say no. When you asked me I told myself that I wouldn't come, that there was no way I'd meet you here again but, I couldn't say no. I couldn't not come." Harry stopped as if he had said something that he hadn't met to say. He bit his lower lip (a habit that Draco loved and remembered so well.) and sighed before he continued. "It's been so long Draco, so long. Why are we here? Why are we doing this to each other?" He felt his heart break all over again as he said this.  
  
"It's been two years, five months, 2 weeks, 3 days." Harry looked at his watch it was now 2:30.  
  
"and 2 hours since we broke up." Harry finished unable to bring himself to look Draco in the eye after he said this.  
  
"And after all that time you still finish my sentences." A small sad smile came over Draco.  
  
"Please don't do this Draco. You know that there's no point in it." Harry felt his head begin to shake slowly. He wasn't going to take some trip down memory lane, not after he had put it all behind so well. It took him forever to "forget" all the memories that ate up his insides every time that one of them decided to pop up at the site of a picture or a familiar item like a sock or t-shirt.  
  
"I have to Harry. That's why I asked you here. I had to see you and find out if you still remembered so that I knew it was all real because I can't stand feeling like all that time was just a dream anymore." Draco stopped and took a deep breath to steady himself. If he hadn't he may have broke down then and there and he promised himself that that wouldn't happen, he wouldn't let it.  
  
"Right, here you go. I'm sorry that took so long. Frightful rush inside." The completely forgotten about waitress set the drinks down on the table, she pulled out a small note pad and pen, "Ready to order?" She looked at them expectantly.  
  
"Umh, uh yeah. I'll take the angel hair pasta with marinara sauce please. Baked with mozzarella cheese." Harry repeated this from memory, he didn't need a menu to look over he always ordered the same thing when they came here and it would seem that Draco felt the same.  
  
"And I'll have the steak, medium rare with the potatoes on the side." Draco laughed inwardly at the scene. So many times they had come here and ordered the exact same things.  
  
"Thank you gentlemen, I'll go put in those orders." She walked off leaving the two boys to their discussion and lemonade.  
  
"Fine, what do you need to know?" In a resigned and heavy voice Harry decided to remember everything that he had tucked away so well.  
  
"Do you remember the time we went to the beach and just sat there all night just talking?" Draco looked up into Harry's sad emerald eyes hoping that he would see a flash of recognition there.  
  
"Yeah, the coast, in Scotland. It was nice and warm that day. And you brought that picnic basket."  
  
"the one with the plaid top."  
  
"yeah, that's the one. What ever happened to it?"  
  
"I..I burnt it. Right after we broke up." Harry looked at him with a shocked expression.  
  
"But I gave."  
  
"I know." Draco shook his head at Harry as if to say don't ask, I was mad. "But anyway, it was supposed to be a romantic night." He stopped when he saw the hurt expression on Harry's face. "What?" "It was romantic, for me anyway. You don't have to have sex for something to be romantic." Draco looked over Harry's face it was comments like this that used to let him know that Harry really cared about him.  
  
"I know. It was romantic. The next morning before we left you gathered up some of the sand in a small bottle. I remember that you used to keep that little bottle on your dresser. What ever happened to it?"  
  
"It's in a box." Draco was shocked by this news. He hadn't thrown it away, he kept it, it was real.  
  
"Next one, the socks." They both smiled at this.  
  
"Aaah yes, the socks. Valentines day, we had been together for a little over a year and we were throwing a party and so we invited everyone."  
  
".everything."  
  
"Dobby was so happy when I open up his gift. I remember his huge eyes swelling up with tears when I pulled out the red and green sock that flashed 'Harry and Draco.'" Harry stopped unable to continue, this was one of things that was really hard to put behind him.  
  
".'Forever.' I got the matching one."  
  
"But you gave it to me so that I would have a set."  
  
"And what happened to them?"  
  
"In the box." Harry lied, he couldn't tell Draco that he had them on at that moment or that so often they kept his feet warm at night when there nothing or no one else to. He crunched his toes up in the now holy socks. He decided to ask Draco in a teasing sort of way "While were on the subject of clothes what about the t-shirt?" He raised an eyebrow at Draco waiting for a response.  
  
"You mean the 'The Snitch Harry Really Wants to Catch' shirt?" Harry nodded "stupid thing went with the basket in the fire." Slightly hurt Harry replied.  
  
"Seems like a lot went in that fire."  
  
"Yeah, it did." Draco couldn't bring himself to tell Harry that he was wearing that shirt right then and there under his neatly pressed dress shirt. A hole in the shoulder, it was Draco's favorite. Draco leaned forward and placed his hand on the table his blonde hair falling into his eyes, Harry leaned back in his seat removing his own outstretched palm. His arms came to rest folded across his chest. Draco looked so beautiful sitting there and his long slender fingers were so inviting, he wasn't going to let himself go to that warm familiar place. He couldn't. Draco continued on "Do you remember our first kiss?" He smiled as if daring Harry to tackle this one.  
  
"Of course I do. It was New Years Eve and we were.we were here." Harry stopped for a moment before continuing, "..and they had put up the glass covering so that the snow wouldn't get in and it was heated so the roses were still in bloom. There were candles on the table. We were sitting next to each other looking up at the moon winking back at us. We knew it was midnight because we could hear the cheering and singing from inside the main restaurant. You were holding my hand stroking it." Harry looked down at his own hand as if Draco was stroking it right then and there. "And then you leaned over and kissed me. So innocently but yet so perfectly and I remember the tear that slid down my right cheek which you wiped away. I apologized and you told me not to and that you wanted to make me cry every time we kissed. You kissed me again to see if that was possible at it turned out that it was." Harry stopped, a small tear sliding down his cheek. He brushed it away as he saw Draco's hand coming towards his cheek. "I'm sorry.I told you I couldn't do this." Draco's hand recoiled. He was amazed that Harry could remember that. His heart sank even lower as the moment replayed in his head for the millionth time.  
  
"No, don't apologize. I'm sorry. You can do this." Draco paused wondering if he should or even could continue after that. He forced himself. He had to. His body began to shake slightly as he brought his eyes up to meet Harry's. It hurt him to the very center of his soul that was naked in those emerald eyes. "Do yo." Harry cut him off before he was able to finish.  
  
"Do you still have the kitchen timer?" Harry looked as if it was taking him every ounce of self-control he had to keep from sobbing right then and there.  
  
"Yes. I do. It's quite useful. Not that I burn food anymore without you around." Harry's heart lightened when he heard this. He was so relieved when heard the timer this to hadn't also been food for the fire. "Do you dance anymore?"  
  
"No. I haven't danced since well, since you. How many meals do you think that you burned because we were dancing?"  
  
"I don't know. When ever you would come into the kitchen and slip your arms around my waist everything would stop. Especially time. It didn't matter if there was music or not. Just so long as I had you shoulder to rest my head on."  
  
"Do you still live in our, I mean your house?" Harry couldn't look at Draco, he was beginning to loose himself and it hurt too much to feel those pale gray eyes on him let alone look into them.  
  
"Yeah." Draco gave a little laugh. "That, I couldn't burn. Anti-arson charm. Anti-everything charms really. That house is indestructible. Or so I thought, it died when you walked out the door and it's never been the same. I still sleep on my side of the bed, yours is untouched. Your towels still hang on the rack by the shower and your teacup sits in the cupboard unused waiting for you to carry it into the living room by the fire. You favorite seat still has your grooves and favorite blanket draped over the back. I have a hard time going to sleep because there is no one to kiss me to sleep and I have a hard time waking up because there is no one to kiss me awake. I tend to your garden but it doesn't tend to me. The sunflowers never smile and the hedges seem to droop when they see me coming near them. I always keep fresh lemons in the kitchen for lemonade but never make it because there's no one there to drink it with me." Draco stopped. The whole time he had been looking at Harry and he began to shake a little more as the tears began to fall hot and slow down his thin cheeks. Harry didn't know this though because he refused to look up. He raised a now trembling hand to his unruly mop of hair and began to play with the bits that refused to lie down. "I don't have anyone to do that for me either...Why did we breakup Harry? What happened, where did we go wrong?" Harry looked up at Draco's tear stained cheeks and answered him in a hushed voice that shook with his dwindling control.  
  
"I can't remember." They both sat for a moment before Harry pushed himself out of his chair and bolted for the door almost knocking over the waitress who was carrying their food. Draco tried to follow but was met by the waitress.  
  
"Just. Just give it to someone else. I have to go."  
  
"What about the check?"  
  
"Here." He thrust about two times the bill into the waitresses hands. "Just keep the rest for the 'wonderful' service." Ever a Malfoy. He pushed past the disgruntled woman and through the restaurant. He made it outside just as Harry was rounding the corner. He took off after him as fast as his feet would allow. He rounded the corner and there was Harry. Clinging to the wall for dear life sobbing and shaking furiously.  
  
Draco stopped so abruptly that he almost fell over. "Harry." He reached out to take Harry in his arms and pull him close to his chest as he had countless times before but Harry pulled back even closer to the wall.  
  
"D..d..don't. I'll die if you touch me." He held out a hand to stop Draco from coming any closer.  
  
"And I'll die if I don't." He stepped closer to Harry and pulled his body close to his. He felt Harry shake and stiffen as if in pain before he finally let go and allowed Draco to hold him close. It felt like home to both of them. Harry's head rested on Draco's chest and Draco rested his head on top of Harry's. His long arms slid around Harry's slender waist and cradled his back while Harry's arms slid up around Draco's neck. Draco breathed in Harry's scent smelling his shampoo, cologne, and tears. Harry listened as his heartbeat fell in sink with Draco's. He turned them around so that he could lean up against the wall so that he could support Harry even more than he already was. He removed one hand from Harry's back and stroked his black hair with it. "I can't run to you no more to catch me when I'm falling. I know I have to let you go."  
  
"No. No, you don't. I'm right here and I will be here to catch you whenever you fall. You don't have to run to me because I'll run to you. Don't let go Harry. Not now, not ever. I'm right here." Draco began to shake again and he whispered into Harry's hair "Come home Harry. Please come home. Say that you're mine and that'll you'll never love anyone else but me." He stopped and sighed deeply before continuing on he had to do now what he had mean to do all those years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, and seconds ago.  
  
He released his grip from Harry and held him out in front of him he used hi hand to raise up his head so that he could look him straight in the eye. His other hand reached into his pocket and pulled out a box beat up by age and pain. He placed the small box into Harry's hand. He held Harry's hand and the box in his own. "Marry me Harry. It doesn't have to be now just tell me that you'll marry me someday." He closed his eyes and waited with baited breath for Harry's response. He felt Harry's hand pull out of his own and he knew that he blew it and all of his insides crashed to the floor and his fragile heart broke all over again. Suddenly, he felt Harry's warm palm on his cheeks and lips that felt like rose petals gently upon his own. He sighed and began to cry out of relief. He didn't step into the kiss for fear that rose petals would shrivel and die like the ones that had come back to him from the flower shop that he had sent to Harry so long ago.  
  
He shivered when he felt Harry pull back slightly, hardly at all. He felt Harry's lips brush against his ear as he whispered "I know that you'll be there to catch me and you won't need to run far because I'll always be by your side. I'll never let go and I never will let go because my wasted heart will love you always. Take me home now. Please take me home." 


End file.
